Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Injections, Eggs, and Attorneys: How One Lesbian Couple Conceived

For parents who are GLBT (gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender), as well as their doulas, health care providers and allies -- which hopefully includes most everyone -- some great resources have been emerging, thanks in part to the Internet.  Dana Rudolph created the award-winning Mombian blog in 2005, and in 2006 she created Blogging for LGBT Families Day.  (Yes, there are many variations on the acronym.)  Hundreds of writers have participated, and this year writers may submit blog entries on or before June 3, which will then be collected and published on the Mombian Web site.  In particular, I would encourage you to submit your birth story for the event!  To participate, click here.  Also, for more information about the experience of GLBT parents during childbirth and how doulas can help, see pages 29-31 of my book.  Below Dana Rudolph describes the process known as "reciprocal IVF," which she and her partner of 20 years used to create their family.

I’ve had a number of women contact me over the past couple of years to ask about the procedure Helen and I went through to have our child. We used my egg and her uterus, making things a tad more complicated than the usual assisted reproduction. I’ve e-mailed back a version of the below to those who’ve inquired, but never got around to posting it here. Consider that rectified, by popular request.

Please note that I’m not a doctor or a lawyer, so this is not a recommendation for anything—just a description of my own experience. If you have an aversion to needles or lawyers, stop here and come back tomorrow. If not, read on.

The egg-donation process is a type of in vitro fertilization (IVF). It began with physicals for both of us. Depending on the fertility clinic one uses, there may also be age limits, especially for the egg donor. (This can be slightly higher for a known donor than for an unknown one—at the clinic we used, it was 38 for a known donor and 36 for an unknown.) Something to keep in mind as you discuss who’s carrying and who’s donating.

To continue reading the rest of this article, visit http://www.mombian.com/2008/04/14/injections-eggs-and-attorneys-how-we-conceived/.


  1. Amanda, I have your book.. It was one of the first books I purchased when embarking on my journey to become a Doula.. I HIGHLY recommend it.. Thank you for all that you do for birth, babies and the mama's..
    Kindly, Victoria Gensheimer Doula

    1. Victoria, thank you for your kind words! I feel most like "myself" when writing the book and my blog, and I am very happy I could contribute. I wish you the very best on your doula journey, and I thank YOU for all you do -- it really matters.